Sunday, March 04, 2007

Surrender



I can't decide if this is an act of surrender or if it is an act reclamation. I have decided to slow my pace in school starting next quarter. Yes, it will take me an additional year to finish, but I'm just not willing to live like I have been these past several months. I have no life. I rarely go out. I spend all my would-be free time doing homework. I never see my kids. I haven't seen my Dad in weeks. It all bothers me a great deal. In the end, the degree will be helpful to my clients and will boost my salary, but I refuse to sacrifice my life for it. I liked the life I had. It was full of friends and family. Now it is full of.........my computer and textbooks. People have always been the center of my life and I'm not willing to sacrifice that for anything. I'll still finish. I'll probably get better grades and will be a way better mom, wife, case manager and friend in the process. I feel like getting one of those dorky Wham! t-shirts that says "Choose Life!" and wearing it through town. I choose to have a life.

6 comments:

lulu said...

YEA!!!! It will be nice to have my friend back, and I think you will be a much happier person. It isn't about surrendering, it is about making a place for all the pieces in your life.

Grant Miller said...

You can borrow my Wham! shirt.

Echo said...

Um...I've got your Wham! shirt, Grant....

Chris said...

I'm with Lulu. It's definitely not surrender. Remember all those time when you HAD to go to school and you just wanted to tell them to fuck off? Now you can! Enjoy it!

Tenacious S said...

Thanks, guys! I'm happier just thinking about being more free. I know it will still keep me busier than usual, but there's busy and there's CRAZY! I need to get through these next two weeks and then it will all be a little easier. The thought of being able to go to the gym has me giddy with pleasure. How sick is that?

Beth said...

Definitely choose life. At our (fabulous) age, we know how quickly a year goes by.