Saturday, December 27, 2008

Goodbye, 2008!

I don't know about any of you, but this is one year that I have both cherished and hated all at the same time. The long and short of it, minus the gruesome detail, is that it all came out well. It was one of those years where my feet were held to the fire again and I discovered what I am made of. At the end of the year, I am relatively happy and content after a whole lot of upheaval, but feel it was all a part of what life is and part of the process of becoming who I am.

I lost my drive for absolute perfection. But that's OK, because it was part of what was wrong. I discovered what unconditional love means in many different ways. Let me tell you folks, it sounds all pretty and stuff, but it isn't always fun and sometimes carries a heavy price, but in the end, the dedication pays off. We all deserve to love and be loved. Sometimes it just takes a little more work than we thought it would. I have learned that those memories that you store are worth more than gold. This past year, in fact this past month, I lost a beloved aunt and an uncle. I've watched my cousins grieve in a way that is all too familiar for me. I've held the hand of a person who was dying and who looked back on her life with me and shared with me the treasured moments and memories of her life. I will never forget the moments we shared. I hugged my cousins today that had suddenly and tragically lost their father. After being the recipient of all the hugs surrounding my mother's death, it was nice to be able to give some and provide the comfort for other loved ones. Family is so dear and so irreplaceable.

My own children are growing and changing. I now have a high school aged daughter. I've worried about changes, but have realized that our relationship is just as strong, if not stronger. I am watching the fruit of my labor as a parent blossom before my eyes. It is truly magical. I sometimes think I got lucky as a parent and then I think that maybe I get to take some of the credit for myself. Years of love and time and tears come to fruition. My job is not done, but I am happy where I am on the journey.

I am still in school and have my own goals in the crosshairs. I am happy for those I work with for the optimism that is surrounding their care. Truthfully, it makes my life easier as well, but it should and it's about time. I find myself in the predicament of being in some ways more on my own than ever, but it's OK. I've lost every crutch I've ever had and I've realized that I can stand on my own, but I also realize that I would rather stand with those I love by my side.

May each and every one of you have a most blessed 2009. I am hopeful. I always am. That's who I am.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Let the Day Begin

Up early. Trying to give it a positive start instead of cursing it. Looking forward to having the monkey off my back and starting to celebrate the holidays.

Monday, December 15, 2008

We Could Be Heroes Just For One Day

In the most unlikely of times, Governor Rod Blagojevich was my hero for one day. On December 12, 2008, in the midst of a career-destructing scandal, Gov. Blagojevich managed to make it into work to sign the bill that will create adequate insurance coverage for children with autism. No matter what you think of the man, I can tell you first hand that I watched him being courted by those in support of this bill, and I watched as he promised to take care of it this term. For all the wrong that has been done, this is certainly a big right. Not only will families who up until now have not been able to afford care receive care, but school districts will sigh a huge breath of relief as the burden is taken off of their shoulders. Not that the schools no longer are required to provide services, but the fact of the matter is that they have never been equipped to provide the intensity of services necessary and really should never have had to shoulder the burden for so long. Private services are required for adequate care and thanks to Gov. Blagojevich, private care will now be rendered. I have been waiting for this day for a long time. Too bad such a wonderful deed is overshadowed by unbridled greed.