Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Things You Should Consider When Choosing A Breed

When choosing a breed of cat, one should consider several factors. Sure, there's the "what an adorable kitten factor, but that is only the beginning. Our family in particular seems to have unusually bad luck acquiring things that are typical for the breed or type of animal. We once had an Australian Bearded Dragon. These were supposed to be the "dog" of the lizard world. We were told that this meant friendly and loyal. Well the dog attributes our lizard had were probably more pitbull like, ranging from crabby and solitary to viscious and dangerous. I fed the stinking thing live crickets every day of its life. What kind of thanks did I get? Well, if I put my hand unprotected in his cage, I got bit, that's what I got. Never knew lizards had teeth? Well, they do, and ours would hiss and lunge. Hiss and lunge, hiss and lunge. That's what I remember.

Then there was the teddy bear hamster....Fluffy. He sure was cute. Lived in his little cage, that smelled. He was orphaned with us and the previous owner swore he didn't bite. Why, oh why do I listen? I should know by now that ALL ANIMALS BITE. So, little Fluffy had been handled a few times by us without incident and was all cute and fluffy and innocent looking and stuff. I decide, at the urging of my son, that poor Fluffy, all locked up in his cage needs some exercise. I reach in and pull him out ever so carefully and put him in his little hamster ball to go for a spin around the house. Fluffy looked like he was having such fun! When exercise time was over, I again reached into his ball to extract him. Apparently I had not been sent the memo that said hamsters are very happy to get in the ball, but less happy to come out. That little *&#! of a hamster bit my finger down to the bone. My initial instinct was to put him back in the ball and punt it down the stairs, but I refrained and simply returned him to his cage. From then on, he might as well have lived in Siberia in exhile. No love for him or hamster ball rides. I think I may have laughed the day he died.

So now we have beautiful Edward....I think you know where this story is heading. He is a Ragdoll. Here is a brief description of the Ragdoll breed:

*They are a large breed-Read friggin' enormous!!!!! Ed can take out an entire coffee table full of stuff with one swipe of his large backside. Also, large denotes a certain lack of grace in his case. I always thought of cats as a fairly nimble animal. Nope, not Ed. This guy is an accident waiting to happen. I do not think he has yet realized how really large he is.
*They are good with children and the elderly being careful to not use their claws-It really says this on the Cat Fancier's website? Have they met Ed? He has now drawn blood from several people, particularly the elderly and small children. I am running out of bandaids. Oh, it's all in fun, but I think Ed missed the genetic preprogramming that stops him from using his claws. He whittles away at them for hours each day, making sure they are pinpoint sharp.
*They adore humans and greet you upon your arrival-This means he will pounce on you when you least expect it, scaring the crap out of the fore-mentioned elderly and children.
*Ragdolls tend to be floor cats, not jumpers-Again, have they met Ed? This very large cat hurdles furniture, leaps onto counters, pounces and generally jumps around more than any other cat I have ever owned.
*Ragdolls feel that humans prefer purrs to yowls and keep their voices softly musical-Oh my GAWD! He's an alarm clock I tell you. We can hear him yowling his heart out (in the basement, with the door closed in our bedrooms on the second floor) in the morning when HE thinks it is time for us to get up. He also yowls when we leave the room until Mr. Walnut Brain figures out where we went.
*Ragdolls adore their humans-OK, this one I will give them. He is the most loving cat we've ever had. He actually likes being with us and isn't solitary at all. If Ed could be on us or next to us all day long, he'd be happy. He purrs like a demon and tries to groom you if he is especially happy. For this, we love him.

Tomorrow we are getting a guinea pig. I've been told he doesn't bite.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


Resurrected one more time because they love their audience? Who knows. All I can say is, long live the Goth Gods of Bauhaus! Tonight they are playing their second sold-out show in Chicago at The Vic. Everyone needs a little spooky in their life every now and again.