Sunday, June 25, 2006

Get Lucky Lines From Hell

I was reading Coaster Punchman's blog and thinking about the various reasons I dumped people. But then I got to thinking, what about those that really didn't make it to full "dumped" status. Those few and proud that gave you a line that pretty much just ended it right then and there. Here are a few of my favorites.

1. "Smile, honey. You look much prettier when you smile."
This was an idiot in South Carolina who clearly mistook me for some southern belle who would be fetchin' slippers for him. Yeah, no.
2. "Don't worry, I'm Catholic."
What? Don't worry? You don't believe in birth control? Time to zip up the pants.
3. "Do I have to write this down as the week I didn't get any?"
Yes, you do.


Coaster Punchman said...

I so don't get #2. "Don't worry, I'm Catholic" - is that as in "don't worry, I won't do anything dangerous" or does it mean "don't worry, the Virgin Mary will protect us from unwanted things happening"? Or is it "don't worry, I'll marry you if I *have* to"?

Very confused here.

Tenacious S said...

I was equally confused and figured it was a good clue that the young gentleman was looking for excuses and coming up with nothing.

Melinda June said...

I was at a party with Tom in Venice Beach, and this guy Bodi who looked kind of like a not-famous Lenny Kravitz told me he was my past-life lover and we'd agreed to meet that night for wild, passionate sex to reconnect.