Loose as a Goose

If someone were to judge my character based on my activities this week, I think I'd get labeled with names such as "deviant," "exhibitionist," or "slut." I spent Tuesday morning getting plastered in more ways than one. My neighbor is an artist and in preparation for the upcoming Boobiethon, she cast my frontside and will be painting on it. For good measure we threw the backside in as well. A couple of Screwdrivers made the whole experience a little less, shall we say, tense. I'm starting to like this Boobiethon ritual. It forces me once a year to make peace with my body. Standing butt-naked in my neighbor's home covered in plaster also forces that peace process. For the record, a thin layer of plaster doesn't hide much.


Apparently I didn't have quite enough nakedness for the week on Tuesday, so when I was begged to show up at our friend's bar for a male dance revue, I just couldn't say no. Mind you, I'm not super excited by beefcake. I spent my dating years with some seriously scrawny dudes. I felt a little weird heading into this event, so I did what any sensible girl would do, I drank. When we got to the bar, the four guys who were going to perform were all hanging out in back and were actually just nice guys. I'm not sure what I expected, but they were pretty normal. When our group of girls went in, we discovered that we were pretty much the only ones there. I guess they didn't promote the event very well, and quite frankly, this is Evanston. This is probably the raciest thing that has happened here in years.

We all hung out and had a few drinks and the guys postponed the show in hopes of drawing a larger crowd. Well, it didn't happen. They were going to get paid by the bar no matter what happened so we decided to tell them that they didn't have to perform for just us. They weren't having it. They told us they had made a commitment and were going to make good on it. I have to say I was a little nervous when they put our four, yes four, chairs right in front of the stage. Since I was well on my way to having a real good attitude, I was feeling pretty game. Oh my. Let's just say there were four dancers and four girls and plenty of that special time in the chair onstage. I am really not an extrovert or an exhibitionist, but I am beginning to wonder after this week. I kind of felt like I was enjoying it just a little too much. I decided to just go with it and let those boys fulfill their contractual obligations! Really, normally I don't even like standing in front of a crowd, yet there I was smothered in beefcake and put in semi-contortionistic poses with some nearly naked dudes I didn't know. I'm now wandering around wondering what snapped in my brain this week. All the while, I am planning for Boobiethon...