WWBD (What Would a Behaviorist Do) Vol. II

Dear Behaviorist,
I am married to a man that is a skanky rapper wanna-be and a slut. I often make choices that might appear sort of trailer park. I have millions of dollars and yet I can't seem to get any respect. What does a girl have to do?

Signed,
Ooops, I Did It Again

Dear Oooops,
If respect is what you want, you may need to modify some of your behavior. Behavior modification can be accomplished through many different methods. In your case, which is a bit extreme, I suggest that we use a little negative reinforcement, since positive reinforcement seems to have gone to your head. Try this, act like a responsible adult and parent. Stay away from people who are gold diggers. Wear clothes that reflect your age and social stature (remember you are a millionaire). You will most likely find after a few weeks of doing this that a lot of the negative feedback you have been getting will be gone. In turn, the removal of the adverse conditions will increase the likelihood of your enjoying these new changes and the changes being permanent. You have the financial means to buy all the support and counseling you need to make these changes. What are you waiting for?

Eternally Controlling,
The Behaviorist