Friday, August 17, 2007

Dedication to Medication Vol. II



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Day Two-Half dose. Since this is not my first ride onto meds, I have memories that are flooding back now. Woke up this morning with a sore throat and sinus pressure. I remember this from before. It's actually a documented side effect, so I know I'm not just getting sick. My head hurts because not only do my sinuses hurt, but my jaws are so tight that it's contributing to the general headache I've got going on. This is why I've put this off for so long. I know I'll feel better next week, but this week is going to suck. After a day of alternate mania and exhaustion, I fell asleep at 9:30, which is really early for me. I actually slept really well, which surprised me, as I've had issues with insomnia in the past. I can feel the weird dreams coming. I enter a dream state much quicker than I typically would and they are always more graphic. I still remember one of the dreams I had last time I was medicated. I could feel the rain. Really feel it. And if you ever wondered if you can dream in color, you absolutely can. Vivid color. Yesterday when I dozed off in the afternoon, my dream had a soundtrack going.

In general, I feel kind of tense. My muscles occasionally twitch or jerk. I feel like a walking experiment at this point. I'm glad I have the day off today, as I certainly am not feeling myself. I don't feel slow or groggy in any way, but more like my body is detached and on a ride of its own. If anything, I feel hyperaware and a little tense. I definitely understand why some people refuse to medicate and don't make it past week one. If you didn't know what to expect and weren't able to ride it all out, you'd give up before you felt the full effect. I know this is going to be good for me in the long run, so I know I have to ride this out. It helps to have a supportive family.

5 comments:

anandamide said...

wow, seems as if your body is pretty sensitive to this stuff. i had a sister-in-law that was similarly sensitive to it and it wasn't fun....

hang in there....

Tenacious S said...

I know it gets better, so I'm OK. I'm documenting this as I may use it for one of my papers.

Echo said...

Hang in there, T! Sounds like a rough ride...

Beth said...

Oh, I'm so sorry it sucks at this stage. Keeping my fingers crossed that you're normalize soon.

Bubs said...

Hang in there Ten. You've got guts documenting this, I hope it's helping you to deal with it, talking about it.