Friday, February 01, 2008

Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just a Rat in a Cage


Can't think of a more fun way to spend a weekend than to have multiple observers while you do therapy. I'm in the process of getting an additional certification for my job and today I got to try out the new therapy technique with one of my clients while several people watched from another room. In all honesty, in many ways it really doesn't fluster me at all, I just hate the idea of it. I have no real fear of failing in front of others in part because I know that therapy is such a crap shoot anyways. Each kid is different and every day is different and depending on who is in what kind of mood, sometimes you are just more successful than others. It's a harsh reality, but it's the truth.

So this new therapy shows a lot of promise, but in some ways I feel like I am being reined in a bit too much. A lot like my experience with religion, I have a hard time really feeling like anything is the be all and end all in the world of therapy. I have learned to trust my years of experience and my knowledge of the child. So, to be hobbled by one particular approach is a bit difficult. Even though I claim to be an ABA practitioner, my boss likes to call what we do "enlightened ABA." This essentially means that if something isn't working, fix it.

I guess in some ways I don't mind being poked at and stared at as long as it gets me closer to having a better solution for my clients. I have a lot of questions for our teacher tomorrow. I get critiqued in the morning and I hope I learn something. Later in the day I get to do my best rat impression again. Sometimes I wonder if my clients feel the same way.

8 comments:

Beth said...

I totally get what you're saying. I hate role-playing exercises in training classes here in the corporate world — but have no problem putting things in practice.

Hope you do well. Hell, I know you'll do well. But know that I'm occasionally crossing fingers your way.

lulu said...

I hate hate hate being observed. When I am in my classroom with just the kids I am totally engaging and a great teacher, but when I am observed I feel like I have to be a grown up and be more serious and all that. ugh.

Hot Lemon said...

cool. You've taken existentialism to the therapy room!

I hate being observed so much that the other day I was glad when my flatmates were out for the evening so my kids and I could have a light party (you know, turn off all th' lights, snap some glow sticks and put fresh batteries in the flashlights, hook up the iPod to the external PC speakers and have a blast dancin')

Hot Lemon said...

ha. You've just inspired me to write a whole 7-things-meme-related blogpost for next week. Thanks!!

Dale said...

I hate the reindeer games but it sounds like they should be playing follow the leader with you up front.

Tenacious S said...

I'm happy to report to all that I learned a lot and did very well on both of my observations, reaching treatment fidelity on both days. Best of all, my client genuinely appeared happy and was very talkative for him on Saturday. That's kind of the whole point. I can't even say that I was sweating it out. I'm so used to people watching me work that it really didn't bother me at all.

Johnny Yen said...

When I was a teacher, I hated being observed. It was inevitably by an administrator who was out of touch with the realities of teaching.

Grant Miller said...

I feel like you're let us observe you here.