Holiday Meltdown!

So, I never really understood the whole holiday meltdown thing until last year. Seeing as I am Scandanavian, I still am not a particularly obvious candidate. Repressed, uptight (oops! Did I say that out loud?), generally cool and even keeled. But now, I am a bit unglued and not enjoying the holiday folly as much as I used to. The stresses of being an adult have finally worn away any attempt I might have made at creating a little Christmas "magic." Yup, this year I am just plain old depressed and in dire need of some good counseling-I'm going tomorrow. Thank you to all of my friends who have watched me implode and have had the graciousness to just be "supportive" and not slap me silly, which is what I know they secretly and not so secretly want to do. The holidays will come and go and I will survive and manage to be a cheerful elf. Afterall, this season isn't about me anymore.

Dysfunctional Eustachian Tubes

For most of my life I have suffered from dysfunctional eustachian tubes. Most of the year, it really is not a problem, but when a particularly virulent winter cold hits me, I become partially or mostly deaf for an indeterminate amount of time. I am currently partially deaf and have been for a few days now.

The thing I find peculiar about this lack of hearing, while my ear is full of fluid (a delightful thought I know), is that not only can I not hear very much, but I really don't want to talk either because my voice resonates so loudly in my head I can barely stand it. What I want to do is be mute and read until it gets better. I feel socially inadequate, as I don't want to talk to anyone and can't hardly keep up with a conversation. It's actually very tiring to have to work so hard at something you normally take for granted.

So, right now, don't call me or expect any form of verbal reciprocity from me. I'd rather be reading.