Done!

So, today I completed my application for graduate school. After grappling with the how's and why's, and believe me, there were a lot of those, I decided to go for an MS in Psychology to be followed by my BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst). I can do it all online, which was a huge factor when I started thinking about the kids and the amount of work I already have. I also had to consider what I really wanted from this. At first, I was afraid to choose this path because it involves relying a lot on referrals. But the more I thought about it, I have built a good reputation for myself and now have a nice base of references. I think I'll be OK. Being a consultant has its drawbacks, but I think I can handle them and the perks ended up outweighing the drawbacks.

So, hopefully they will want me. I got a little nervous when I saw my undergrad GPA, hence the new byline for my blog. I really blew it academically a few times, due to my "lack of focus." But I have to say, I welcome the chance to redeem myself. Gratefully, most online universities do not have radio stations.

I Think I've Figured It Out

So, I've been feeling kind of lame for wanting to go see so much live music. I've wondered if I'm having a mid-life crisis. I've actually wondered if something is wrong with me. I've spent way too much time worrying about why I seem to be obsessed. Then it slowly sank in. I've basically spent the past twelve years raising kids and not going out much or seeing any shows or listening to what I want to listen to. Now they are are older and more self-sufficient. Now I finally have some of my freedom back. So, I'm back to doing what I've always loved, listening to music. It's not new or different. I have been somewhat obsessive about music since high school. My obsession just had to take a ten year break and now it's back with a vengeance.

I'm not going to apologize to anyone about why I feel compelled to turn it up too loud or why I want to see tons of shows. I figure soon enough I won't want to, so why not enjoy it now? I still love my old favorites and am loyal to them, but I've found lots of new stuff, too. At one point in my life, I wanted to make a career of working in the music industry. Then I found out how completely slimey it is and gave up. It always made me a little sad that it never came to be, but I've never regretted the choices I've made regarding work. All this is to say, yes, I probably am a smidge more obsessive about music than most people, but I think it's part of who I am and I'm OK with it.

As for my very specific interest in The Bomb, it's pretty simple. Naked Raygun was one of my favorite bands "back in the day." They were incredible trailblazers, setting the table for success for so many that followed them. While they had a good ride here in Chicago, they never really achieved the level of success that many critics feel they deserved. Jeff Pezzati was their frontman and now fronts The Bomb. I'm there to show support for the years of amazing music he produced and to support his band in their efforts now. I consider him a hometown hero. Not only has he had his own bands, but he has been instrumental in supporting other local artists through his label. This guy is invested and is for real. I learned in college working at the station how important it is to support your local scene. It's kind of like buying books at the independent bookstore or from a small press. It allows for more variety and for different voices and styles other than the commercial mainstream to be heard. So, yup, I go to all their shows and invite everyone I know. Come if you like, stay home if you want. I fully realize that not everyone likes what I like, thank God.

Scarier Than Halloween

Hold an image like this in your mind. It's what gets a parent through the day. This is a picture of a moment where everything is right. That doesn't happen often in parenting. Being a parent is only a part of who I am, but in many ways, it has changed me forever. It's not cool, it's frequently not fun, and it is thankless most of the time. I only hope that when we release these two into the world, that they will give back to our world. In this job, though, there are no guarantees. I often feel like I am leaping into an abyss.

It was so much easier when they were babies. Everyone complains about all the work it takes when they are infants. I would gladly take a day of diapers at this point. It was much easier. This is the part where it gets hard. Trusting is difficult and easily messed up. I know all about it, because I screwed up bigtime when I was young. Maybe that's why I get scared. I get it now. No matter how many times I try to help them avoid the same mistakes I made when I was growing up, they probably will have to figure it out for themselves. It is a bizarre existence right now. I can almost feel my childhood experiences being erased from history as a new generation begins to make all the same ones for the "first time." There is no Vulcan mind meld that I can do to pass my knowledge to them. I just get to watch them flounder and hope they listened.

Take This You Evil Edward Lusters

Poor Edward. Stalked relentlessly by anonymous kitty freaks. Kitty is scared!