When the Lights Go Out

Although Earth Hour Chicago only managed to produce a 5% reduction in energy usage, hopefully the longterm impact will be greater. As I looked out our windows last night, I saw that about a quarter of our neighbors had clearly heard about Earth Hour and were active participants in turning off all their lights for an hour last night. We turned out ours and are going out today to purchase the new CFL lights to replace most of our old lights. For us, this is step two in a plan to lead a more energy conscious and efficient life.

I read article after article about how we are ravaging our planet and how our planet is no longer able to withstand our constant onslaught of abuse. As I've grown older, I am no longer paralyzed with the feeling of helplessness when confronted with issues like this. I know that if we each do our part, we can create change. While I realize that not everyone will support this kind of effort, it is no reason to give up hope. It's my job to do my part and that's what I'm trying to do as best I can. Once again, education and personal action can make a world of difference.



BLACK KEYS-When the Lights Go Out

Rock Band Hall of Fame

Tonight Bink and I have a mission. To rock Moscow. If we succeed, we will be inducted into the Rock Band Hall of Fame. The only thing standing between us and the honor is an eight song set. Bink is hoping it doesn't include "Enter the Sandman." I hope it doesn't include "Run for the Hills." That song is crazy high and I have to sing almost all of it in falsetto, which makes my throat feel like raw meat by the time I finish it. Wish us luck. This is our proudest moment.

Happy Peepster!

THE DONNER PARTY RECREATED IN PEEPS

Happy Easter, if that's your thing, everybody! I had to share our peeptastic adventure. Sweetness was offered extra credit by her Social Studies teacher if she created a Peeps diorama portraying any historical event. My contribution was providing the widest variety of Peep product as I could. Sweetness took them and ran. We used to live in California. We used to live on Donner Avenue. Really. We did. So, of course, she chose that moment of history and her odd personal connection to it as her inspiration for some Peep magic. She used blue Peep bunnies, as she felt they were anatomically closer to humans than the chicks and therefore better to create cannibalization, and the lovely new yellow Peep tulips to represent the fire that they roasted the poor soul over. She's a nice girl. I swear. So, hope you all have a Happy Easter and if you are planning a journey out west, I recommend you take the path most travelled, as opposed to the shortcut.

Achy Breaky Random Ten

This week's random ten finds me a bit achy and a bit breaky. I have a fever and I managed to damage my knees at the gym. I'm Adviled up and iced down and feeling a little less tenacious than usual. Hopefully this won't stop me from seeing Negro Commando tomorrow night at the Cobra Lounge. Negro Commando was the incubator for Naked Raygun. It consisted of Marko Pezzati, Jeff Pezzati and Santiago Durango. I doubt they will ever play together again, so it sure would be nice to be well enough to go. Here's some fuel for your weekend:

1. We Used to be Friends-The Dandy Warhols
2. Challengers-The New Pornographers
3. Seagulls Screaming Kiss Me, Kiss Me-XTC
4. 1000 Tons of Ice-The Bomb
5. Sad Transmission-The Raveonettes
6. Alex Chilton-The Replacements
7. Hit a Nerve-The Methadones
8. Mirrorful-Jawbox
9. Give Me Novacaine-Green Day
10. Plots and Plans-Film School



FILM SCHOOL-Like You Know

Mixtape Madness

I am one happy kitty! For all of you who know me, you know how much I love to win! And win I did. I will be assisting the lovely Ms. Cup on an upcoming Mix Tape. You betcha there'll be Raygun!

Return of the Friday Random 10

I know. I know. I have been a horrible slacker. No excuses this time. Let's rock!

1. Bittersweet-Hoodoo Gurus
2. Target-Fugazi
3. Jumping Someone Else's Train-The Cure
4. When the Rainbow Comes-World Party
5. Always in Love-Wilco
6. This Wheel's on Fire-Siouxsie and the Banshees
7. West End Girls-Pet Shop Boys
8. Hours-TV on the Radio
9. Etheriel-Lush
10. Idiot Princess-Guided By Voices



HOODOO GURUS-Bittersweet

Many years ago, during my last year in undergrad a bunch of my friends and I lived in a house together. We all worked at the radio station together and each room had its own vibe. Next door to us lived a bunch of guys that were in a local Columbia, South Carolina band that I can only describe as The Cramps meet Guns and Roses. Their house was not surprisingly called Voodoo Mansion. We decided our house needed a name as well and my roommate, Heather, who adored the Hoodoo Gurus named our house the Hoodoo Hut. Now anytime I hear their music, I am transported back to that time and place.

Mutant Pets

This is Ed. Ed is the main act in the mutant pet parade that we have going on at our house. Ed is beautiful, but as you can tell by the look in his eye, he is no angel. Ed spends his days alternating between sleeping on any clothes that might be laying around the house (he especially has taken a shine to Bink's down parka) and blazing through the house, sounding much like an entire herd of wildebeest. Ed believes that because he is beautiful, he is also dainty. He frequently likes to jump on top of my dresser or Sweetness' dresser thusly clearing the decks with his large furry hindquarters. Except for the attempts when he crashes on the way up and sulks off, licking his fur and his pride. Ed likes his water fresh from the tap and yowls for us to turn it on at 6 a.m.. Ed also likes the following two pets and is often found perched on top of their cage with his paw swiping down into the cage hoping for an afternoon snack.

Our next mutant pets are Mandy the guinea pig(*break into Barry Mannilow in your mind at this point*) and Moon Unit the "dwarf" lop-eared bunny (*break into "Valley Girl" in your mind now). Mandy has been with us for a couple of years and really, other than the copious quantity of poop that she produces, she is pretty cool. Sadly, lately, she has become the bunny's bitch. We bought the bunny a few months ago at the insistence of Sweetness. It was the smallest bunny in the hutch at the pet store and we were told it was a "dwarf" rabbit. I think what they meant to say was that it was a baby bunny and would be getting much larger. At this point, I am convinced it is doubling in size each day. Moon Unit has decided that Mandy is not clean enough and has taken to grooming her 24/7. Poor Mandy cowers in the corner and submits to the bunny's incessant licking. Then there's the hopping. I don't know about you, but I really wouldn't want to be steamrolled by what looks to be a bullet out of a shotgun that was twice my weight and size. I know I shouldn't, but I do laugh really hard when the bunny gets a full head of steam on and crashes into Mandy, literally sending her tumbling end over end.

Last, but not least, there is lowly Grottle the tortoise. Grottle has been with us almost a year. She is slow but as sweet as a tortoise could possibly be. Sadly, she is our constantly ailing pet. Just like the lizard that went before her, she can't seem to keep healthy and has cost way too much for anything so unfuzzy. Her story is not so funny. I soak her and put drops in her eyes and give her supercharged vitamin water and she still is sickly. I think if anything happens to her, I'm going to give up on the whole reptile thing. They aren't meant to be pets. Ed does enjoy watching her soak in her little tub, although not as much as he enjoys watching guinea and bunny when they are in their big pen for a run. For that show, he hides behind various Hot Wheel track inching closer and closer, as if we don't see his large furry self sneaking up on them.

The point here is, well, there isn't much of a point. I always wondered as a kid why my parents wouldn't let me have more pets. I think I have my answer now. I just didn't want to be one of those parents who wouldn't let their kids have pets. As odd as they all are, they are part of our family, for better or for worse.

Just Sayin'

I realize I am stating the obvious when I make this comparison, but come on. Is this really the personification of rock and roll or just a horror film gone wrong? And I sit and watch it all. What does that say about me?

Sorry...I've Been Sleeping

I think I am slowly perfecting the art of hibernating, or at least semi-hibernating. I've had busy days and have been in bed around 9:30 most nights. Life just has no pull against the thought of warm blankets. Just making the most of the end of the hibernation season.

Please enjoy this video while I nap.



THE CURE-Lullaby

Annual Checkup

The recent shootings at Northern Illinois University have raised questions once again as to why these events keep happening. While I can't say that this is my area of expertise, I do think that our failings in dealing with mental health issues is one of the roots of this problem. In this article (http://www.boston.com/news/education/higher/articles/2005/04/17/colleges_target_mental_health/), the issue of both stigma of mental health issues is raised as well as how effective we are in dealing with them. It is a fact that many mental health disorders begin in late childhood and early adulthood. It is not uncommon for a mental health disorder to have rapid onset. Knowing the signs and symptoms of the most common disorders should be as widely spread knowledge as women knowing how to do a self breast exam. We know the signs of a heart attack. We know many of the warning signals of cancer. Why do we still as a society seem mystified by mental health disorders?

I believe part of the reason for our failing level of knowledge in this area of health is the stigma that mental health issues still carry. Just like many other illnesses they are often genetic in nature. Much like the rise in other illnesses due to the environmental pollutants we live with, mental health disorders often are triggered by many of these same elements. We fill our food with additives and preservatives. We drink water from lakes with barely acceptable mercury levels. Is it any surprise that there is an increase in mental health disorders? Yet, unlike their medical counterparts, mental health issues carry with them a stigma. Only with widespread knowledge will this stigma ever be lifted.

So, what should we do? My suggestion is to take mental health issues just as seriously as physical health. Know the signs and symptoms of some of the most common disorders. If you have concerns, take yourself or your child immediately to a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist. You wouldn't attempt to treat yourself for cancer. Why would anyone think that they could attempt to treat a mental health disorder on their own?

Run...

Those who have known me for a long time know that once upon a time, I was a runner. My freshman year in college I was goofing around in the first snow of the season in Grand Rapids, Michigan and broke my ankle. I wish I could say it was a simple fracture, but the truth was that I literally shattered the joint and couldn't even walk for longer than I can even believe. For years my ankle was weak and even with physical therapy, I was left with seriously curtailed range of motion. I really, in some aspects, have never been the same.

At the time of the accident, I was a pretty physically active person. I enjoyed running, riding my bike and skiing. After the accident, all of these things were very painful to me and usually ended up in further injury due to compensating for my less than perfect ankle. I really haven't run in any serious way since then. I have missed it all these years. When I think of who I am, part of who I think I am is a runner. I still think I am a runner. Today for a short time, I was a runner.

I am always afraid of breaking into a run because of the pain that it frequently involves. I have been busy with school and more out of shape than ever lately. Today at the gym, I was warmed up and walking at a good speed and with a steep incline and when I lowered the incline and upped the speed, I kind of thought, "Why not?" What was the worst thing that would happen. I might fall. I might not be able to handle the pace. The worst thing that did happen was that I immediately noticed the extra weight I have been carrying.

In a heartbeat, or a few hundred, I felt like a runner again. I immediately found my stride and my old running posture felt like a friend. I like the feeling of pushing myself further than I think I can go. I like crawling up into the far recesses of my brain to find that extra bit of strength to get me through. I am very good at moving through pain. I realized today that I can run again.

Two seconds after this realization, my dream of one day running a marathon also came springing back to life. I thought of Bubs' sad experience this past year, but I also thought of another friend's positive experience a few years ago. At 43, I am not ready to give up on my long held dream. I'm a girl who likes a project and a challenge. It's what I live for.

So here's the deal. I really want to run a marathon. It's early in the season and I do think I could be ready by next fall. The thought of seriously being a runner again makes me giddy. Keep in mind that I ran today in walking shoes and those suckers are heavy! I can do this. I want to do this. I'm not sure yet how I am going to balance this with school when it starts again, but I'm tired of being unhealthy and I desperately miss running. I'm putting this out there so that people will check in with me and make sure I'm not slacking. I want to bring back that part of who I am. I want to hear that gun go off. I want to run.

The Belly of Winter

The holidays are over, the first few beautiful snows have come and gone. The temperatures have hit rock bottom. Is it any wonder that many of us start to feel a little uneasy this time of year? Even though T S Elliott has said that April is the cruellest month, I have always felt that February is far worse. There really is no promise of spring yet. Winter is growing old. The lack of sun starts to take its toll on the collective psyche of the metropolitan area, leaving most people a little crankier and sullen than usual. When I think of Chicago, I think of people with a big warm smile, but not so much in February. This is the month that I wonder why people don't hibernate. I'm jealous of bears. I want nothing more than to curl up under a pile of blankets and stay there until the sun moves further north and the world is a little brighter again.

Start Making the Dream a Reality Today

I don't know about any of you, but screw Mardi Gras this year. I am so much more excited to go vote and begin changing America. I know I only have one vote and that this is only the primaries, but today I feel like I can have a hand in reclaiming our country. It's finally happening.

Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just a Rat in a Cage

Can't think of a more fun way to spend a weekend than to have multiple observers while you do therapy. I'm in the process of getting an additional certification for my job and today I got to try out the new therapy technique with one of my clients while several people watched from another room. In all honesty, in many ways it really doesn't fluster me at all, I just hate the idea of it. I have no real fear of failing in front of others in part because I know that therapy is such a crap shoot anyways. Each kid is different and every day is different and depending on who is in what kind of mood, sometimes you are just more successful than others. It's a harsh reality, but it's the truth.

So this new therapy shows a lot of promise, but in some ways I feel like I am being reined in a bit too much. A lot like my experience with religion, I have a hard time really feeling like anything is the be all and end all in the world of therapy. I have learned to trust my years of experience and my knowledge of the child. So, to be hobbled by one particular approach is a bit difficult. Even though I claim to be an ABA practitioner, my boss likes to call what we do "enlightened ABA." This essentially means that if something isn't working, fix it.

I guess in some ways I don't mind being poked at and stared at as long as it gets me closer to having a better solution for my clients. I have a lot of questions for our teacher tomorrow. I get critiqued in the morning and I hope I learn something. Later in the day I get to do my best rat impression again. Sometimes I wonder if my clients feel the same way.

Another Year Older and Closer to Death

Mr. Ten S and I will be at Exit tomorrow night where they will be spinning '80's and industrial music upstairs from about 10 until we tip over. Just wanted a chance to hear the music that I love REAL LOUD for my birthday this year. Love to have you join us! Let me know if you're thinking about heading over, so I can save a chair for you!

5 Things I Had No Clue About When I Was 25

While it often seems that time flies, when I think about being 25, that was a LONG time ago. So thanks to Bubs, I am supposed to come up with five things that I didn't expect to be in mylife when I was 25.

1. Being Married to Mr. Ten S-When I was 25, we had just barely started dating. Although I did like him a whole lot, I had no idea that we would be spending our lives together.

2. Attempting Graduate School Twice-Because apparently once was not enough for me. I almost finished a MS in Communication Disorders, but then kids and life set me on a slightly different path. I think I always knew though that I would not be satisfied with myself until I completed a Master's degree, hence, round two.

3. Losing My Mom-My dad is a full ten years older than my mom and I think everyone in my family just assumed that we would lose dad first. Not that I wished death on either one of them, but it was a shock when my mom got sick and it is the one thing that has changed me more than I could ever tell anyone in words. I am not the same person. I will never be the same person again. I'm OK, just very different. Unless it has happened to you, you will never understand what I am saying even if you try.

4. Being Around For a Naked Raygun Reunion-Come on. I had to lighten it up. I love Naked Raygun. You all know that. It goes far beyond just liking the music. These are great guys in a band that to me is part of my hometown and part of who I am and how I identify myself. I was sad when they did a reunion when I lived in California and feared I would never see them live ever again. I had no idea that when I contacted Jeff Pezzati on a whim and a dream to play my 40th birthday party that it would buy me a frontseat to their reunion and a rekindling of a friendship that I now treasure.


5. Two Kids That Amaze Me-Although I think I always knew I would have kids, I never really dreamed about who they would be. From the very beginning I have tried to not impose expectations on them and to let them unfold as their own person. By doing this, I am constantly amazed and surprised by them. Sweetness is an interesting and artistically talented girl with an old soul. Bink is crunchy on the outside with a gooey center that is all love sprinkled with curiosity.

I couldn't have asked for more and I have more than I ever imagined in many ways. Loss has taught me to appreciate every moment with every person. Distance has taught me to appreciate my hometown. Struggle has taught me to appreciate the moments of calm. I consider myself a very fortunate person. I have done many things that I wanted to do. I love and feel loved. I know who I am.

Important Update!

I look like this again! Because I am Tenacious S, I tracked down my professor just so I could get an explanation of the grade. I wasn't going to accept this easily. She emailed me almost immediately and was full of apology because she said that when she printed out my paper the last six pages didn't print. WTF? As if I would write an impeccable paper and then just not write a Summary or a Reference section. Well, thank goodness my tenacity paid off. My grade is now the A it should have been all along. I knew it! Back in the hunt for Magna Cum Laude. Or not.

I feel a little bad that I have been a blog slacker lately. The good news is that I actually have been busy working and having a life. Saw Eddie clearwater last night at Bill's Blues in Evanston, which is owned by our friend. I hung out, heard great music and drank until I literally fell off my chair. That's when I decided it was time to go home. See? I really am smart!

This is What I Look Like When I Am a Little Angry

I just found out today that I got a B in my last class. I am not happy. I am especially not happy because I worked harder and longer on that term paper than any other. It virtually ruined Christmas for our family. I deserve an A for the sacrifice alone! Further irritating me is that I was given a grade with no explanation of anything. Last I checked, I was still getting an A. What the hell happened? This is exactly why I hate grad school. This is what I remember from last time.

Last time I was in school, I had to drive well over an hour to get there. One semester I drove all the way down to pick up a copy of our take home final only to find out that the professor hadn't made enough copies and that she was nowhere to be found. Mind you, this was before the days of email. I had to *&%$$%%% drive back two days later to get a copy and then had two days less to complete the stupid thing.

What I remember is that if you didn't read your professor right, you could have your grade lowered just because they never really articulated what it was they were expecting. I followed the rubric exactly for this paper. It was edited over and over again. It was plenty long and well supported. I just want to know at this point what I did wrong so I don't do it again.

In a way, as irritated as I am, it is a blessing in disguise. I no longer have a prayer of Magna Cum Laude. That was a ridiculous pressure I was putting on myself. I guess now maybe I'll be a little more relaxed about this. I'm not perfect. My grades aren't perfect. Oh well.

I am even happier that I am taking this quarter off. I probably needed a little perspective. Towards the end, I kind of felt like I was on a runaway train with no hope of controlling it or stopping it. It was a bad ride. Maybe when I go back I'll be able to enjoy it a little more. I am learning lots of cool stuff and all that matters in the end is that I get my degree and get on with my life.

Seven Things You Don't Know About Me (But Lulu Might)

I always feel a little weird writing these types of posts. I think part of it is because I am not a particularly secretive person and have a tendency to just blab whatever comes to mind with little filter. So, are there seven things you don't know? Let's find out. Thanks to Flannery for hooking me up with the ability to potentially embarass myself.

1. I have a few vivid memories from when I was two. I've been told that not many people have memories from when they were that young. Bink, my son, also has very early memories. What this means or if this is of any benefit, I don't know.

2. I named my first cat Tabitha, after the girl on Bewitched. We later found out it was a boy and changed his name to Charlie.

3. I punched a hole in the wall of the duplex I lived in during my junior year in college. The guys who lived on the other side would not stop playing Night Ranger and I was in full Bauhaus mode at that time. Yup. I hate Night Ranger that much.

4. I preferred playing with GI Joe to Barbie, which made my childhood friend Laura cry more than once because I ran off to play with her brothers. I never really liked girls' toys very much. Unlike Flannery, I didn't want to be a boy, but I preferred their company.

5. The first few times I DJed at the college radio station I refused to talk. My friend, Jeanne, did the shift with me, so I would spin the records and do all the technical stuff and Jeanne would talk. It didn't last very long. I ended up liking it and spent far too much time at the station before it was all said and done. It's a minor miracle I graduated college.

6. Being a big fat chicken probably saved my life once. I went on a wilderness trip to the mountains in southeast Colorado when I was in high school. While we were there, we went on several rock climbing excursions. Because there was a large number of us climbing, those who reached the top and were waiting were clipped into an anchored ring for obvious safety reasons. When I reached the top, I was supposedly clipped in with everyone else. A bunch of people were getting silly and were running for the edge of the cliff, only to get yanked back when they ran out of rope and were anchored. Almost everyone did this. I hate heights and it was a amazing that I even managed the climb, so I clearly chose not to participate in this game. I found out as we were leaving that they had made a mistake with my ropes and I wasn't clipped in like the rest of them. I would have gone sailing off the edge of the cliff.

7. I have almost zero knowlege of primetime TV from my younger years. My parents were very strict both with what we could watch and how much we could watch. I really only remember Flipper, Little House on the Prairie, some Waltons, The Muppet Show and Emergency (which I lived for since I thought that Randolph Mantooth/Johnny Gage was totally hot). So if you all refer to retro TV shows, I haven't a clue.

Seems like lots of folks have already done this, so I'm only going to tag Lulu. Anarchy!

Really Important Announcement!!!!

Just noticed that none other than the New York Dolls are playing at the Double Door on Saturday, February 23. I think this may need to be an event!