Gratuitous Cat Photo

This is Ed. He likes to drink from the faucet, roll in a clean litter box and sit on top of the guinea pig cage. Ed also serves as an alarm clock. He is very loud. Just don't touch his tummy.

Punk or Poser

Back in the day, being called a "poser" was about the worst comment someone could lob at you. It meant that you were only putting on a front, that you weren't a real punk. I'm throwing it out there. Prove yourselves. Punk or poser. The best show of the year is coming up with an enormous lineup. Riot Fest is only two short weeks away. I have my tickets. Do you have yours?

Seriously, the only thing that would make Riot Fest more fun is if some of you showed up. This year they are allowing ins and outs, so you won't be subjected to the fabulous food at the Congress if you don't want to be. There's plenty of beer and certainly more than enough awesome music. For any old geezers that are concerned, there is seating in the back of the first floor as well as in the balcony. If anyone is interested, please email me (sharonathayhaydotcom) and let me know and we can arrange a meeting time and place. As of right now, I am planning on going to the pre-show bash at the Cobra Lounge on Friday night, doing all day Saturday and at least part of Sunday. This is once again a chance to prove that bloggers are not introverted agoraphobic creatures. Get your punk asses in gear and get some tickets!

Forgive Me

I apologize for not being around as much as I have been in the past. Rough start for everyone in our family this fall and I am the one left to sweep up. I have now morphed into Tenacious S-Super Advocate and will be spending most of my spare energy getting my kids squared away. I am frustrated beyond explanation with the school system. I seriously want to hurt someone at this point. I'm used to this battle because I do it all of the time for my clients. Now it's time to take them on for my own babes. I particularly am pissed off at my son's school and have fantasies about meeting the principal out behind the school and pummeling her into the ground. I can dream, can't I?

Life is Totally Fair...

So, are we surprised that the victims of the California fires are getting the rock star treatment? The fires have conveniently occurred in what is basically a Republican stronghold, better known as the Orange Curtain. W and Ahhhnold have flown over the scene and have aid centers that rival the Ritz Carlton set up already. In one of the most population dense areas of the country, they have managed an evacuation of an enormous number of people. No Katrina here, folks. While I am truly glad that casualties have been low, it smacks of hypocrisy to me. Save the rich! And for goodness sakes, those folks need coffee and a comfy bed!

Monkey Business

No, I'm not talking about the demise of our much beloved Green Monkey Music Project, but I am talking about mayhem created by real monkeys. Although this sort of news is usually covered by Bubs over at the Compound, I couldn't resist. Admittedly, it is a tragic story, but I couldn't let go of the images this one brings to mind.

Apparently, according to a news report, the deputy mayor of New Delhi was hanging out on his balcony reading, when he was attacked by a marauding gang of monkeys. A struggle ensued and the poor man fell to his death. The monkeys are becoming a real problem in New Delhi, where Hindus regard them as sacred.

Lulu's description of the American Club in Dhaka included reports of monkeys in the trees. She has asked me to come visit her. We've talked about going to New Delhi. Of all the things that one needs to prepare for when traveling to a different country, I never thought monkey attacks would be one of them.

The Mommy Monster

There are many times when I find myself saying things to my children that sound strangely familiar to me. I call them my "Mommy Monster Moments." Those moments when I am no longer Tenacious S and turn into the Incredible Mommy. I try very hard to never end anything with a "because I said so" mostly because it drove me nuts as a kid, but I do most of the things you will now witness. Behold, the Mommy Monster!

Is It Wrong?

Is it wrong that when I saw all the little files used for my root canal, all I could think of was Pinhead from Hellraiser? Just wondering.

GET PLASTERED!

Hey, if you're bored and wondering what to do this Friday night, I suggest that you head over to Bill's Blues in Evanston on Davis just west of the tracks, where my friend, and local artist, Anne Elisabeth Hogh will be doing live casting. You can either go and watch people get plastered or you can volunteer yourself. If you love it, she'll turn it into a unique work of art for you. I'll be there from about 5 o'clock on. She'll be there from 4-close (really late and past my bedtime). Love to see some of you there.

The Books That I Read

I really wanted to read a novel tonight. Really. I did. I wanted to curl up in my bed after having a lovely root canal today with a glass of red wine and some fine fiction. I wish that was what happened, but it's not. Doped up on pain killers and with a mouth that felt like it belonged to someone else, I plowed through yet another tedious chapter in yet another psychology text book. Sure, some of it is interesting and it absolutely is important, but it just isn't Michael Chabon, is it. I know it's making me smarter, but I'm a Renaissance kind of girl. I feel like I'm so narrowly focused that I'm missing out. My brain wants to run free in a field of fiction, or maybe even some non-fiction that has NOTHING to do with psychology. I'll console myself with the fact that I am honing my craft and sharpening my mind. Truth is, I'm bored.

WWBD (What Would a Behaviorist Do?) Vol. V

Dear Behaviorist,
I just can't figure out why my children constantly find themselves in the principal's office. They go to an afterschool homework support firm, play soccer for the local and traveling teams, play an instrument, and belong to the youth group at church. Occasionally they complain that they are tired, but whenever I see them they are always giving it their all. I am so proud of them! I tell them this all of the time. I tell them that they are great soccer players, that they are gifted musicians and that they are incredibly bright children. What could possibly be wrong? My husband and I have devoted our entire lives to their success. I don't know what we'll do if we have discipline issues on our hands. This could affect their ability to take part in the traveling team. Help!

Signed,
Devoted Soccer Mom

Dear DSM,
Take a step back from your hectic life and think for a moment about why your children have snapped. Could it be your own insecurities being played out through their success? Could it be the intense pressure you have placed on them to perform? Could it be as simple as a lack of sleep? I think it is a combination of the three that is the antecedent to the anger outbursts happening at school. Ask yourself this question, when was the last time you asked your child what they would like to do? Or here's another one, do you have any interests of your own other than your children? Placing unrealistic expectations on children can cause large amounts of stress for both them and yourself. My suggestion is this, Try a little negative reinforcement (not the same as punishment). Relieve them of their pressures for a week. If they appear happier then the removal of the schedule is a negative reinforcer, telling you that you have removed the negative stimulus. Let me know what happens. I'll just bet that they will enjoy lowered expectations, but will surprise you by showing what their true interests are. Happy dribbling!

The Behaviorist

I Predict a Riot

I love autumn. The chill in the air, the subtle hues of a gray sky juxtaposed with the vivid oranges, flaming reds and golden yellows of the leaves, watching the squirrels quicken their pace as they prepare for winter, the two days of chaotic, clamorous music blasting from the Congress stage...

November 17th and 18th are the two days of Riot Fest this year. Headlining day one is none other than my hometown heroes, Naked Raygun. Day two will be headlined by the infamous and seminal band Bad Brains. Some of the other bands on the bill are Stiff Little Fingers, 7 Seconds, Nekromantix, The Casualties, The Bollweevils and so much more. All of this in the fabulous Congress Theater.

So here's where I say we invoke a gathering of the tribe. I know many of you enjoy destroying your hearing as much as I do. Let's unite for this great event! Two whole days of drinking beer, hanging out and listening to some great music. That's what I call heaven on earth. Go to the Riot Fest webpage for all the info on tickets, bands and times and then let me know who's in. Don't make me call you a chicken!

Better Late Than Never

I like to think of myself as the tortoise. Maybe not very appropriate for a Speed It Up mix, but it seems to be my M.O. in life. I eventually get around to things. So here is the illuminating commentary for the Tenacious S Speed It Up mix, along with my grateful thanks to Splotchy for allowing me to participate in the monkey business. The plan of this mix was to start at whatever BPM your heart desired, but it had to continually increase across the mix. For being a tortoise, I kind of like it real fast, so it didn't stay slow for long.

1. Pyramid Song-Radiohead
Does this song even have a beat? Like much of Radiohead's music, I find that it meanders around my brain, crawling into crevices that maybe I hadn't noticed before.

2. Spread Your Love-Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
A slow dirty groove, and I mean dirty. Makes you want to, uh, take a shower.

3. Failures-Joy Division
Post-punk with a sharp beat and a sharper wit. This is where the mix starts to act like it's going someplace and that maybe it might be in a hurry.

4. Groovin' in the Bus Lane-Jazz Butcher
Happy feet! There was a time in my life where the Jazz Butcher probably fell in my Top Ten. I couldn't get enough of the witty lyrics and the gin-soaked lounge singer on the skids tunes.

5. Turning Inside Out-The Methadones
Pure melodic punk perfection. These guys are led by ex-Screeching Weasel Dan Schafer, which is a nice pedigree in this arena. Send your good thoughts out to their bass player, Pete, who was hit by a bus while riding his bike last week. He's OK, but he's been stapled together in a few places.

6. Nicotine Fit-Voodoo Glow Skulls
Oh, come on! Speeded up crazy ass ska. Yahoo! Makes me giddy.

7. TV II-Ministry
While I prefer the more danceable earlier Ministry, I knew they were my go-to guys for the most hellacious BPM's of all. This one is a pure adrenaline rush accompanied by a few whacks over the head with a big mallet.

Hope you had fun.

*Warning-Do not listen to mix while hopped up on Red Bull.

Here It Goes Again

Folks, it's that time of year again. The time where I shamelessly beg you to pay to look at boobs. Sure, they're cute and round and fun, but sometimes boobs get sick. Now it'd be one thing if just the boobs got sick, but see, this disease can kill you. I know, because this is how I lost my mother almost three years ago.

So do me a favor, do boobs a favor, do real people with a real illness a favor, go oggle some boobs and drop some cash. It's all going to the Susan G. Komen organization, which supports breast cancer research and treatment. This wonderful organization that is using one of nature's kind of cool gifts to raise some cash for breast cancer is Boobiethon. My boobs will be there and they thank you as I am one of the people at risk.

Candyman, Candyman, Candyman...

Candyman is my all-time favorite horror movie. Made in 1992 and set right here in Chicago, it is the story of what happens when an urban legend becomes reality. It stars Virginia Madsen, a hometown girl. Watch it and then I dare you to stand in front of your bathroom mirror and utter his name three times. My husband knew this one actually spooked me and would walk up to me when I was brushing my teeth at night and start saying his name. Creep. Thanks for the fun idea, Splotchy!

Time

I know I haven't been around as much lately. For one, we had some problems with our router, but that got fixed. I am under the gun at work. Even when I'm not, I guess I always kind of feel that way. Time is like the hot breath of a pursuer constantly on your back as you try to outrun it. Time has the ability to undermine all that I do. Time is valuable and frightening all at the same time.

I meet most of the kids I work with when they are quite young. There is always great hope in these moments. Everyone I work with makes very nice progress, but some progress much more quickly than others. It's those kids who don't move as fast that set me in motion. I am tasked with trying to catch them up to their peers in a race where the finish line keeps moving further away. It's exhausting for all of us I can assure you.

This year I have more than a few kids that fall into this category. It has been a rough few months filled with bumps in the road and detours that have wasted our precious time. Many days I work from the time I get up until I go to bed. Maybe this is why I kind of snapped this last week. I am grateful that I am in my quarter break right now, so I can devote more energy to my work. While I know school is important, it is yet another greedy monster, eating up precious hours every week. There are days at work that I feel like I'm battling a blazing house and I've got a squirt gun to do the job. It can be a little overwhelming. Most of the time, I try not to think about it too hard, because it doesn't help to worry.

But right now, worry is what I am filled with. I worry that some decisions that were made weren't correct. I worry that we are racing as fast as we can and that we might not finish the race. I worry about ten years from now. I have to. It's my job to constantly adapt plans as progress is made. I have to remind myself that everything we do is good. I know it doesn't all rest on my shoulders, but I also know that I have to keep running because I feel that hot breath on my neck.

Loose as a Goose

If someone were to judge my character based on my activities this week, I think I'd get labeled with names such as "deviant," "exhibitionist," or "slut." I spent Tuesday morning getting plastered in more ways than one. My neighbor is an artist and in preparation for the upcoming Boobiethon, she cast my frontside and will be painting on it. For good measure we threw the backside in as well. A couple of Screwdrivers made the whole experience a little less, shall we say, tense. I'm starting to like this Boobiethon ritual. It forces me once a year to make peace with my body. Standing butt-naked in my neighbor's home covered in plaster also forces that peace process. For the record, a thin layer of plaster doesn't hide much.


Apparently I didn't have quite enough nakedness for the week on Tuesday, so when I was begged to show up at our friend's bar for a male dance revue, I just couldn't say no. Mind you, I'm not super excited by beefcake. I spent my dating years with some seriously scrawny dudes. I felt a little weird heading into this event, so I did what any sensible girl would do, I drank. When we got to the bar, the four guys who were going to perform were all hanging out in back and were actually just nice guys. I'm not sure what I expected, but they were pretty normal. When our group of girls went in, we discovered that we were pretty much the only ones there. I guess they didn't promote the event very well, and quite frankly, this is Evanston. This is probably the raciest thing that has happened here in years.

We all hung out and had a few drinks and the guys postponed the show in hopes of drawing a larger crowd. Well, it didn't happen. They were going to get paid by the bar no matter what happened so we decided to tell them that they didn't have to perform for just us. They weren't having it. They told us they had made a commitment and were going to make good on it. I have to say I was a little nervous when they put our four, yes four, chairs right in front of the stage. Since I was well on my way to having a real good attitude, I was feeling pretty game. Oh my. Let's just say there were four dancers and four girls and plenty of that special time in the chair onstage. I am really not an extrovert or an exhibitionist, but I am beginning to wonder after this week. I kind of felt like I was enjoying it just a little too much. I decided to just go with it and let those boys fulfill their contractual obligations! Really, normally I don't even like standing in front of a crowd, yet there I was smothered in beefcake and put in semi-contortionistic poses with some nearly naked dudes I didn't know. I'm now wandering around wondering what snapped in my brain this week. All the while, I am planning for Boobiethon...

Brains on the Wall

Went with Sweetness and company to a show on Tuesday night. I was geeked about seeing Metric, but had no idea what brain blenderizing fun the opening band, Crystal Castles, would be. They have made a name for themselves remixing songs from other bands like Klaxons and Bloc Party. My brain is still buzzing with the memory of their set.



CRYSTAL CASTLES-Alice Practice

Next up, and headlining, were Metric. Every one of them was an accomplished musician and the fact that they were led by an amazing tough as nails and sarcastic chick made them even better. One of the tightest sets I've heard in years. Interesting time signatures and rock your face off dance inducing tunes. If they are heading for your town, I highly encourage you to go see the show.



METRIC-Dead Disco

I'm flipping out and twitching just a bit because there are more than ten shows I really want to see in the next month. I know I'm going to have to pare that list down, but I am giddy with excitement.

Helping is Easy

Some of you have expressed a desire to sponsor a child. I can only tell you that we have had a very positive experience with Children International. When our first child was conceived we decided that since we would not be adopting, that we should help out another child in the world. We sponsored him from age four to age eighteen. What I did not understand when we signed up was that not only would we be supporting a child, but we supported his family and the village he lived in by improving conditions and bringing aid to the area.

We recently finished supporting this child, who lived in India, and are anxious for the next. I have enjoyed hearing about his growing and love receiving his picture each year. The picture of a healthy educated child. A child who has hope. He often wrote to us telling us of his love for art, which is my daughter's love. I hope that as he continues in life that he will continue to have hope and will continue to succeed. I know that our small commitment to him made a difference.

The organization we went through is Children International. www.children.org They are reliable, non-sectarian, and give a great portion of the money directly to the child being sponsored. I didn't do it to make myself feel good, I did it because it felt like the right thing to do. I have no regrets and can't wait to start all over again.

Hot Spot

I am trying to get to Santa Barbara for a conference, but am socked in at the San Francisco airport. Not really a big deal in the grand scheme of life. Just wanted to let all of you know that I have not been avoiding you, but that we are having issues with our wireless network, the router in particular, and it has been difficult for me to get to my blog and all of yours. So, here I am in a "hot spot" with time on my hands.

I have not been away from my family for three and half years and have never been away for work. It's nice to do something besides what I typically do on a Wednesday. I have homework to do when I get to the hotel, but for now, I'm writing and roaming. Fall has been busy so far getting all of the kids that I work with and my own transitioned into school. It's been a bumpy ride, but we are all making it through. I've managed to hire and fire people in the last week, which is possibly my least favorite aspect of my job. This week I am attending a conference that will give me certification in a newew form of the therapy that I do. The fact that I have to go to Santa Barbara is not unwelcome.

It was my Mom's birthday a couple of days ago. I don't know if it's the medication or the fact that I've been so busy that I haven't really been able to think about it, but I felt like I made it through the day this year a bit better than in years past. The whole fall is filled with last memories, so I approach the season rather hesitantly. The past couple of years, I have felt kind of hollow around this time, but I do feel more full of life in this season of change.

As Summer Fades Away

As summer fades away I find myself clinging onto the last sunny days spent with my kids. Somehow in my mind, summer marks their changing stages of childhood. Sweetness no longer really enjoys playing in the sand at the beach and I wonder how long before Bink will feel the same way. We are making our last trek to the beach tomorrow before they close it for the season. This year Bink still enjoyed hanging with me at the beach, content to make sandcastles while I read or splashing around in the water with me. I wonder if next summer will be different.

We as a family are sucking the marrow out of the last days, while readying ourselves for Tuesday's drastic change. There's still time for a couple more barbeques, a couple of evenings on the porch and looking for that last cicada. I think for the first time, I'm dreading the end of summer more than my kids. I hope everyone enjoys this last weekend of summer.